ALEX

““If I were in a dream… I’d quickly but gently recover us in a haze. We’d be lying on a blanket in the garden with a second one over us— not only to keep us warm but to keep our naughty hands hidden. We’d laugh as we sipped our tea— yours overly sweet— and eventually fall into deep conversation about feeble organs and the universe. You would kiss my mouth whenever we looked at one another because you needed to. I’d kiss your nose and your cheek because each time you’d laugh and say ‘silly girl,’ right before you'd— once again— fit your lips with mine. You would hold my hand for every second the night aged; only because you know it’s my favourite. And if it were a dream, you’d carry me to my bed after I’d fallen asleep to the sound of your heartbeat. You would carefully tuck me in, kiss my forehead and whisper: ‘I do love you.’
But as I said before…if only I were in a dream.”
— like-a-secret-or-a-sin”

““No matter how many times I say to myself that she isn’t that pretty, or that I am the best you will and ever have, at the end of the day I’m still the loser who looks you up on social media to see how you’ve been, and no matter how many times I curse your entire existence and call you every single dirty thing in the book, nothing changes the fact that you will love her more - better even - than when you had loved me. Which sucks because I had loved you in every summer of my childhood days and I had always believed that we could be so much more.”
- 5:50 Thoughts”

““and i don’t know who i truly am. i’m always listening to music, i’m lost and i’m insecure. i like to make people smile, i’m brave and i like photography. i’m clumsy, i love poetry and i get attached to people way too easily. i struggle to let go, i always feel empty after a movie and i know how to hide my sadness. i always feel like people replace me easily, no one cares about what i’m saying and being the center of attention gives me anxiety. i may not be exactly smart, but i know a thing or two about being strong. i’m at a party, and you’ll easily find me invisible and unnoticed, like the stars that are hiding in the glorious morning sky; and the conclusion of the story is that i don’t know who i truly am.”
and what my purpose on life is”

“It’s funny. Because we’re not together anymore, and we’re not in love anymore, but every single love song still makes me think of you no matter how long it’s been. 2. I don’t know why my chest still hurts when I think about you but I don’t want to throw up every time I picture you kissing her so let’s call it character development 3. I didn’t know that “forever” implied “forever until you’re too fucking hard to deal with anymore” but I really wish I did 4. I still leave space for you in my bed.” —The things I tell you in my head while I’m trying to fall asleep”

When you fall asleep tonight, I want you to think of at least one thing that has been good today. It might be difficult and you might think that there’s nothing but, however bad a day has been, there’s always one thing, even if it’s a tiny thing, that has been good, and sometimes it can be helpful to remind yourself of that as you fall asleep.

My heart used to rush when you appeared in front of me with that cute big smile on your face, when you talked to me in that caring way, when your warm skin touched mine's…
But now, it hurts… It hurts when I remember your face, when the memories we made together come to my mind, when I think of you and ‘that person’.
At least I know you’re happy, I know you both love each other. And that’s enough for me to bear this little pain.
That is how much I love you now and always.

Our bodies can go through so much. Bruises, scratches and cuts, aches and breaks. Our minds can deteriorate, everything we once know can be wiped, destroyed. Our bodies and minds are such temperamental things, we can go through so much pain. But one thing can make everything worth it. One moment whether that be a smile, a text or a simple greeting. You are that moment.

I love the sound of the rain falling heavily on the rooftop at 1am because they remind me of how beautiful and enchanting the sound of it when you said you love me on that night, over the phone for the first time. The rain continued pouring, but your voice was clear as crystal. I remembered every word you said to me. I won’t forget it because it was on that same night when I have profoundly fallen in love with you just as heavy as the rain is falling. It never stopped, not even until the sun has awaken the next morning.

Date someone who gives you chills just by the way they look into your eyes

I got lost in her eyes, and I hope I never find myself because honestly being lost never felt so right.